stranger danger

I feel like this post needs a disclaimer before I begin. So, if I know you, if we are friends, if we are family, I am not referring to you in this post. Don’t go getting all weird on me and taking offense. You are not the reason I write this.

So, now that is out of the way, lets talk about my belly.

Yes, I’m pregnant. Yes, I now LOOK pregnant. Yes, my “is it a food baby?” bump now looks like a dead set “up the duff” bump.

Its lovely, it makes people smile. I get it. The miracle of life and the glow and all of that, But seriously, stop with the uninvited touching!

cant touch this

Numerous times a day I come into contact with new people. Most of them are polite and charming and have all sorts of lovely questions about how I feel and when I’m due and all that jazz. Most of them keep their paws to themselves. Most of them are self-respecting normal human beings who know a thing or two about boundaries and personal space.

Then there are the gropers. The people who after a matter of seconds in my presence feel it necessary and reasonable to put their hands straight onto my bump and have a big old feel around. No “can I have a feel?” no “would you mind?” no preemptive questions at all. Without any warning – in they come, all grabby and intimate. Rubbing my belly as if I’m some sort of good luck Buddha.

I wont bring you good luck.

I wont bring you good luck.

Now look, I’m not a total cow. I understand that a pregnant belly has a certain force field attached to it. A force that apparently makes people suddenly loose their shit and think that my belly is a new toy. But is it too much to ask for permission before going in for the kill?

Some people even take it that one step further. Not just going in for a simple pat around the belly button area (a pretty safe zone for those playing at home) but taking it to the extreme and mapping out the entire width and girth of my belly with their hands, inspecting me in a way I’m only comfortable experiencing with my obstetrician or my babies daddy.

I wouldn’t dream of walking up to a non-pregnant woman and having a nice little feel around her belly. I wouldn’t really touch anyone I don’t know without asking first (Unless you’re John Stamos. In which case, watch out, I will probably feel you up in a totally uninvited and inappropriate manner).

I guess for me, a simple “would you mind if I touched your belly?” is not too much to ask? I’ll always say “sure, go ahead”. It’s not the touching I take issue with (remember to stick to the belly button zone though thanks). It’s the lack of permission sought by strangers that irks me.

It’s a type of stranger danger I didn’t know existed. People don’t warn you about this when you first get pregnant. There’s no memo sent out saying that “oh, by the way, total strangers are going to feel you up in supermarket cues and at the bus stop”. It just happens. And it’s annoying.

So, to all of you strangers out there. I know my belly makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Its lovely, I get it. But do me a favour – if you want to have a little rub, just do me the courtesy of asking me first. I promise I’ll say yes.

NB: unless you are weird and a bit dirty. In which case, this is awkward but no. Please go away.  

xx A

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/vblibrary/7414544704/”>Enokson</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/adforce1/413428647/”>williamcho</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

8 thoughts on “stranger danger

  1. I actually hardly let anyone touch me. I just didn’t think I needed to. And I would tell people no even if they asked. Sometimes I would ask if people would want to feel it kick but really that was my husband, kids and Mum. So I don’t think its too much to ask.

    Thanks for linking up with #TUST

    Annaleis – Blogs and PR Team Member

  2. I really didn’t like the interest from strangers that my pregnant form invited. My belly gave total strangers an insight into my life and I wasn’t comfortable with it.
    In fact someone at work said to me “Oh you’re married? You don’t act like it!”. Exactly how does a married person act? Was I supposed to be miserable? let myself go? I wonder to this day what that person meant!
    Stand your ground – as I tell my daughter – “from your head to your toes, you say what goes” 🙂

  3. It is completely inappropriate for shizzle, it’s like everyone sees a baby bump as a communal item! I had a t-shirt that said “Don’t even think about touching my baby bump” It was great. Glad to stumbled upon you via #TUST – for Blogs and PR.

  4. It has been a very long time since I had to contend with this but I think every pregnant woman has had to deal with it. I would never dream of touching a friend belly let alone a stranger! I hope that your pregnancy continues to go well and that people keep their hands to themselves 🙂

  5. I must just look like a pretty mean bitch. I’ve never had problems with this with either pregnancy. Sure, I’ve had rude/outlandish comments, but the only “unauthorized” touching came from 2 secretaries at work. They’re older black ladies who are like den mothers, so that was somehow OK. I didn’t destroy them for it.

  6. Completely understand where you’re coming from here! Both of my pregnancies I had to endure the same, but particularly when I was MASSIVELY HUGELY pregnant with TWINS. Complete strangers groping at my belly – Ewww!

  7. I don’t have the mean look that larva225 was talking about, but my husband does. Somehow that and the fact that he’s covered up in tattoos somehow kept my pregnant bellies off limits to anyone. The only person who touched my belly was a friend of ours an co-worker of his and he was more like family. People do mean well, but it is an invasion of private space. I wonder what they would do if you groped them back when they were done touching your belly. I’d love to read that post!
    Thank you for linking up to the Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop.

    Karina
    http://momintheusa.blogspot.com

Leave a comment - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s