oh hi 2013, lets do this!

Well its official. I took too long off. It didn’t feel like it at the time, but now as I get back into the first day back at work and the first day back at my blog, I’ve realized that I really truly did switch off for the last 2 weeks. My brain is yet to get the memo that today is the day it’s supposed to kick back into gear.

So, to kick things off for 2013, I thought a recap of the last few weeks was probably in order. It was an amazing break with some massive highs and very few lows, hopefully an indication of what is in store for the coming year.

In big news, my “unwed” post from a couple of months back is probably now a little irrelevant. The boy popped the question on Christmas Day. It was beautiful and personal and us in every way. The gentleman in him had asked my mum and dads permission and the whole nine yards. The fact that I am now wearing our bathroom reno on my finger makes me nervous as hell but hey, its sparkly and I LOVE it (and the bathroom reno still got the go ahead!).

Mamas Xmas Table Extravaganza

Mamas Xmas Table Extravaganza

Christmas and Boxing Day was just gorgeous. Mum outdid herself yet again with hosting the soirees for 2 days and in typical form, overindulgence was the name of the game. The little dude growing inside me had a massive presence throughout Christmas and clearly Santa got the memo about his impending arrival. So many beautiful gifts for the little guy before he even arrives. It made it very real to think that next Christmas, he will be under the tree, no doubt crawling his way into mischief.

New Years was a total disaster in comparison. A severe bout of gastro put me on my knees for 48 hours and to be honest, I was petrified. I’ve honestly never been so ill in my life and all I could think of was my little guy and making sure he was ok throughout the ordeal.

Thankfully the Locum Dr Service came to my rescue and sorted me out with some safe “up the duff” drugs to allow me to get rehydrated and start on the road to recovery. On a positive, it did give me an excuse to load up on some much-needed carbs and calories in the days following!

our southwest retreat

our southwest retreat

The first week of January was the perfect time for my new fiancé and I (still sounds weird!) to head off on a little baby moon down to the gorgeous Southwest. The last opportunity for some real quality us time before our little man joins the world.

It. Was. Amazing.

Just what the doctor ordered, we slept in, strolled around small towns, ate too much food and generally enjoyed each other for days. The accommodation we stayed at was just divine and allowed us to forget about the rest of the world and just be. We came back refreshed and relaxed and I truly think it was the best way to start what is going to be a pretty intense year.

Now back home and its straight back to the crazy grind that seems to be our lives. A kitchen renovation 3 quarters done, a bathroom reno about to commence, a nursery to plan and the endless to-do list that seems to be our world at the moment. It’s an exciting time but I have to admit that the list on my fridge of things to buy and do does inflict a mild sense of panic each time I see it.

But 2013 – bring it on! As a friend said a few weeks ago, “a lot can happen in a year”. It certainly did in 2012 and I have a feeling that 2013 is going to be even bigger.

My new years resolution? To not make one for starters. 2013 will be about family, and no doubt a lot of readjusting. I plan on making this year about us. About our growing family, our new adventure, the tears and laughs along the way.

Hopefully you stick around to share it all with me.

So, Happy New Year to you and yours. May 2013 be everything you dream for.

xx A

a day of firsts and lasts….

I’m feeling quite nostalgic today. It’s the last day of the working year. It’s the start of the Christmas break. It’s a start of a lot of firsts and a lot of lasts.

1409165_39019246 (1)It’s the last….. Christmas I’ll have without a son. Although I have to admit, I’ve been pretty keen to buy the little guy Christmas gifts from Santa this year even though he’s not yet here to open them. Thinking about how different next Christmas will be brings a smile to my face. Its bizarre but lovely to think that this time next year, a little crawling baby will be part of our Christmas story and knowing our families, he will be spoilt and treasured beyond belief.

It’s the first….. Christmas I’ll be spending without a wine in hand. The previous post goes into my loathing of that whole scenario so there’s no need to reopen wounds.

It’s my last…… day in the office. Of course I am back in January but my position will certainly continue to adapt and my growing bump will start to get in the way of my doing everything I’ve been able to do this year.

It’s the first…… time the fella and I have had the entire Christmas break together. Work commitments for both of us have been handballed this year so neither of us are working again until January 7. I even get to kiss him at midnight on NYE (if I can stay awake!). We have never been able to spend New Years Eve together so the prospect of him being the person I bring in 2013 with makes me happy to say the least.

It’s the last….. working day of what is likely to be my last full time working year for a while. Coming back to work is a definite priority for me as soon as I can but the capacity in which I do so will no doubt be different. The Monday to Friday routine of the last 13 years or so is going to change in 2013 as I navigate my way through being a mum and keeping my career. Happy Christmas Santa

It’s the first…… time I have gone into the Christmas break feeling like I really am about to embark on an actual break. Real time out. In previous years there have always been things lurking in the periphery, which create a small amount of stress and distraction to the true value of the Christmas holidays. This year, none of that is present. I’m embracing this break, leaving the stress behind and looking forward to focusing one hundred percent on family and relaxation.

And, It’s the last…. day of the world according the Mayans. The fact that people believe this crap makes me giggle.

Xx A

have we made the hulk?

Today was a good day.

We had our 20 week scan and much to our delight, the little dude is as healthy as can be. All his bits are in the right place and he’s definitely still a boy. Its amazing that you get to see so much detail before the little person is even ready to come out. Every little bone and organ is visible and its a pretty surreal experience to see it all so intimately.

20 weeks

hey little fella

It still feels so bizarre to look at a screen and see the formations of a teeny tiny person who is hidden in my belly somewhere. But there here is, all fingers and toes and heart and lungs in the right position and working a treat.

I went into this scan with a LOT of nerves. Its one thing I wasn’t expecting from this journey. The amount of panic and nervous energy that fills my being in the days prior to a doctors appointment or scan. Every single time I’ve seen that reminder in my diary, I start to think about all the “what ifs”… Have I done everything right? Have I protected myself and my baby against all the things that can harm him? Has my body built him correctly?

There is so much that can go wrong and todays scan was a very important one which would hopefully tell us that we are one of the lucky ones. That our little bundle is built just right. And he is.

Watching him wriggle around on screen I so wish I was able to feel those movements. Maybe then it would feel more real? My placenta is in a position which means I am yet to feel any movements and probably wont for a while yet. Nothing to be worried about according to the doctors but I cant help but feel a little bit jipped missing out on feeling the first kicks of my little guy.

hey big foot

hey big foot

In other scan related news, apparently peanut is not so little. According to the measurements, the doc thinks says he is measuring closer to 21 and a bit weeks as opposed to 19 and a half weeks as we first thought. Thankfully, this is most likely due to my dates being wrong rather than me creating the Hulk baby.

With all of the hormonal issues I was having pre baby and there not being any clear indication of when my last known period should have been, the date we were given initially was always a little bit of a stab in the dark. Seems that we may now be having a late April baby and not a May baby as planned. Either that or he is still due on May 1st and my vagina will never be the same again.

Needless to say, we will be on standby from mid April just in case.

So, todays blog is a positive one. A happy one from a pretty stoked preggas chick that everything is going as smooth as we can hope for. No bitterness or craziness to report today. Just relief, and a bit of a brag about my perfect little dude.

xx A

the lesson of miss nine and miss six

I’m spending tonight with 2 little munchkins. Miss Nine and Miss Six. It seems like five minutes ago they were Miss Four and Miss One. Where has the time gone?

It makes me think, it’s going to go so fast. In a flash, I’m going to have a Mr One and then a Mr

where has the time gone?

Four and before you know it, the little dude in my belly will be off to get a job and go to university and be a grown up. One day he’ll be Mr Thiry.

Bizarre.

A friend pointed out something to me the other day. We were talking about a weddings and the topic of mother of the groom came up. All of a sudden, it clicked for him. One day, I would be the mother of the groom. One day I will have a real life grown up son who is a MAN does adult things like working and getting married and even having babies of his own.

Bizarre.

Its kind of a permanent thing my mate suddenly said to me. Yep. Having a baby is totally permanent. No turning back. No giving it back. No backing out now. This is a job I’ll have forever. My Mr Peanut will be Mr Forty one day and I’ll still be his mum. Forever. I think I am in love with the idea. Forever. Not much is forever these days. But that. Yep, that’s permanent.

But, as I sit here with Miss Nine and Miss Six, I am filled with this sudden sense of time. How quickly it is going to pass and how precious it is.

Ever so quickly, little Miss Nine will be Miss Nineteen (I probably wont be as cool to her then) and Miss Six will be Miss Sixteen (and probably staying at my place as mum thinks she’s been at the library instead of the party down the road). I’ll be Miss Forty and my peanut will be Mr Ten.

Bizarre.

But alas, I can’t turn back time. Everyone knows not even Cher can do that. I can’t stop it either. So, the lesson Miss Nine and Miss Six are teaching me tonight is to treasure it. Each moment. Each year. Because before you know it, the years are gone and everyone is getting too old too fast and you cant get that back.

xx A

this is not a food baby

So I haven’t written for too many days.  Lets just say life went and got in the way and I needed to take a few days to focus on something more important.  Add in a quick trip to Albany for work and I find it’s suddenly been a week since I’ve written a word.

But, now I’m back. You can all let out a communal sigh of relief. Stop panicking. Its ok. I’m back on deck. Oh sorry….what’s that? You didn’t realize I had left…? Well, this is awkward.

Anyway. Whilst you were busy missing my thrice-weekly updates, I had a revelation. A pretty big one.

I’m. Having. A. Baby.

That’s right. A real life, can’t give back, person sized, fully-fledged baby. What the fuck?!

I think it started to hit me a few days ago when a friend gave birth to her little bundle of baby boy joy. I was sent a picture of the gorgeous little 2-hour-old creature and suddenly realized – one of those is going to come out of me.  Not only was it going to come OUT of me but it is currently IN me. Growing all that hair and limbs and starting to yawn and hear and all sorts of human like

This is not a food baby.

This is not a food baby.

things which don’t seem quite right when occurring inside my once empty mid region.

Insert mild panic attack and sudden return of nausea.

Now we are 19 weeks into this journey (where has that time gone by the way?) I guess those dots are all starting to connect. Those dots, that just a couple of months ago were floating around aimlessly in my head, were, in an instant connected, lined up, pieced together and slammed into my unsuspecting brain like a freight train.

I’m. Having. A. Baby.

Not a food baby. A real baby.

No doubt the photo wasn’t the only thing to trigger the connection with my uterus that occurred other day. The large bump starting to protrude through my clothes were my abs used to be is somewhat of a wake up call, and the rock melon sized boobs where my quite delightful C cups used to live are a definite sign that something is going on.

A baby. That’s what’s going on. An actual human being that in about 20 weeks or so is going to be here and need me.

I’m going to be a mum.

You have no idea how ridiculous that sounds in my own head. But its real and its happening and I actually starting to quite like the sound of it.

Don’t get me wrong. There is still a LOT I’m learning to come to terms with. A lot that seems bizarre and at times I still feel like I’m having an out of body experience and that some other poor woman is going to push this baby out at the end. But day-by-day, bit-by-bit, those dots are becoming a part of my being.

Baby. Mum. Me.

Not a food baby. A real baby. And he’s mine.

xx A

the tradition of tradition

With Christmas just around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about tradition. The traditions that we already have within our families and traditions that we want to pass on to our little guy.

Im a bit of a sop when it comes to tradition. Things in life can change so much and so often that having simple little consistent things with the ones you love, is warming to the heart.

In my childhood home, our traditions are not that traditional. We’ve never been that cookie cutter family to be honest. Silly things like chanting “Rip It Up” during gift opening, followed of course by a very passionate game of Steal a Santa (email me if you want those juicy details!), the obligatory booze up with left overs by the pool on Boxing Day and Dad and I making a punch (that no doubt leads to huge hangovers) are things that are traditional ours.

They’re not perfect, they’re not always everyones cup of tea but we love them and it makes our Christmas, well, our Christmas.

For our little family of 3, I want those traditions to continue. They are the basis of so many good memories for me and I hope they live on for years to come. But I’m also keen to create new family traditions. Things that our little dude will speak fondly of when he’s old and wise like me (insert chuckle here).

Will we be the family that gathers at the tree on Christmas Eve to sneak one little pressie? Will we be the family that buys that super special ornament for the tree each year? Or the family that heads to the Christmas Carols religiously, picnic blanket in tow.

Probably not.

I’d say our traditions will be more along the lines of those nutty ones I experienced growing up. Not quite proper. Not quite Martha Stewart. Not quite everyones cup of tea. But perfect.

I see laughter, fun, food and friends. I see my little dude being surrounded by people that shower him not in gifts, but love. Its always been that way in our families.

And that, might be the best tradition of all.

xx A

the unwed

It’s 2012.

Hence, my surprise at the number of people who have (some without being aware they are doing it) turned up their noses and informed me of their views about the fact N and I are going into this whole parenthood thing without being married.

It’s no surprise that N and I are in love and ready for a family. After knowing each other for almost 17 years and being together for 3, we are in no doubt about our future together and our love for each other. We have a mortgage, a plan for our lives and now, a baby on the way. The lack of a ring on my finger means nothing to him or I. Yes a massive diamond would be just delightful but to be honest, I need a new bathroom.

I have on numerous occasions been offended by suggestions that now we are pregnant, we should quickly duck off down to the ole reg office and make it official. Bugger that. I have no issue with my little boy being a ring bearer at our wedding if and when we choose to walk that aisle. The fact that others feel its necessary for us to somehow validate our love further by having a ring on my finger is naive and a little narrow minded.

Rant over.

xx A